I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily
I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily
"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart
Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings
And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever
The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say
"Wait for me, I'll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt when I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late
'Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings
Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever
Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings
And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever
Sunday, October 31, 2010
A visit to the Cemetery, A Glimpse of the Past
Yesteday is October 31, 2010.
And what do we celebrate on this date?
That's right!
It's HALLOWEEN!!
^_____^
We celebrated our Halloween at Tagaytay City where our relatives live. I managed to be with my uncles and a few cousins. Although the people I managed to be with are fewer than what I expected it to be, it was still fun. :D
Our first stop was the store of my grandmother. We stayed there for a few minutes waiting for my auntie and my little cousin to finish eating their lunch since they left home very early and arrived at noon time. While waiting, my uncle along with his wife and son came. We had a little talk and decided to bring them along the trip to the cemetery.
When we got to the cemetery it kinda made me reminisce a bit.
I remembered my childhood days.
The times when I used to collect melted candle waxes turning it into a wax ball. Me and my big brother used to do this every year. We would always challenge each other on who makes the biggest wax ball throughout the day. And sad to say that I always lose the challenge but it doesn't matter at least I always have fun collecting those candle waxes. Then when we got home, we play catch with those wax balls. If you're a bad catch, you're gonna get hit on the head and believe me IT HURTS! XD
I kinda miss those times.
There also came a time when I melted the wax ball and then made a brand new candle out of it. And since the wax ball is made from different candles of different colors, the candle turned color black and it looked morbid so I threw it away right after LOL!
Hey it scared the heck out of me you know! XD
Well anyway reminiscing that past of mine made me realize how carefree I was before unlike today.
I always used to have fun before for like everyday!
But now...
It's different.
Things have already changed.
I can't be that carefree kid anymore.
I'm growing up physically so I need to grow up in terms of acts and attitude as well.
I'm not a kid anymore.
I can't have fun every single day of my life.
I need to learn to become a little independent on some aspects.
I need to explore new things on my own.
I need to learn a few things on my own.
I know there are people who are always there to help me but I realized that they won't be there for the rest of my life. I need to learn how to handle myself.
I need to grow up!
But...
As long as I have the time to have fun.
I think I'll have fun.
They won't last very long either.
It's like what they said...
"You're never too old to have fun"
And besides!
Life is too short to live life too serious.
^___________________________^
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Promises
A promise is an oath wherein a person enters an obligation to do or not to do something.
Promises are very easy to make. It's as simple as speaking bluntly to anyone. In fact, anyone can make a promise in just a snap of a finger.
Well that is the easy part.
Creating a promise.
Making someone believe that you will do this or won't do that.
Giving someone a reason to expect.
It's very simple to give a statement.
The hard part is fulfillment.
There is a saying that goes: "Promises and pie crusts are made to be broken" - Jonathan Swift
So why promise if you'll just break it right?
I highly disagree with that saying. If that's the true purpose of promises, then promises are a bad thing.
But that shouldn't be the definition of promise right?
When you make a promise, you should bind yourself to the responsibility that you will fulfill that promise.
Never make a promise if you're not sure that you can make it.
Also, never make a promise during happy times.
Why?
When an area is full of happiness, people within that area tend to say things that would please another. So the intention is to create more happiness during that time and not to fulfill a promise.
Breaking a promise is like breaking someone's heart.
It's sad to say that there are very few people who keep their promises. People who treat a promise as a duty that is needed to be done and will do whatever it takes just to get a promise done for someone.
In addition to that, people sometimes fulfill a promise out of fear. Fear that THAT person will get angry at him/her.
So better be careful when you say the word "Promise" because you'll never know.
You could be already breaking someone's heart.
Remember!
Not all mistakes can be cured with the word "Sorry"
^________________^
Doubt much?
This is a part of the Philippine Constitution which became a very popular quote for young Filipino lovers.
If you ask me it's true. You shouldn't assume anything unless there is proof.
A lot of conflicts arouse from assumptions. Assumptions which arouses from the minds of insecure people. This happens due to a person's lack of trust to the other. If a person assumes something about his/her partner, it only proves that his/her love is not strong enough to trust the person. Because for me:
LOVE = TRUST
You can never love a person whom you do not trust.
And you do not trust a person if you do not love that person.
It's just something to think about...
If you feel that you're love is strong enough to hold on to your partner, think again because if there is more doubt than trust, your feelings is very weak and may crash anytime soon.You have to learn to trust your partner despite all the doubts that pop up on your mind.
But of course you have to be open to each other. :)
Be careful though. Sometimes when a person avoids assumptions, there comes a time that he/she is already in state of denial. It's like avoiding negative thoughts even though it's already in front of him/her.
Take good care of each other and learn to trust.
^_________________^
Halloween!
It's Halloween! Sadly Trick or Treating is not applicable here in the Philippines (haha no candies). It's giving me chills! BECAUSE ITS COLD DUUH! :))
Tomorrow, me and my family will be going to Tagaytay where we'll spend our vacation until November 2 (I think?)..I'll get to see my cousins again (wee!). We'll also visit my grandparents' graves which I haven't seen in a while.
I'm kinda looking forward tomorrow because my relatives haven't seen me in a while and with a new look I'm kinda expecting a different kind of reaction from them (mostly negative so I'm getting ready XD).
Were leaving early tomorrow so I think I'll sleep early today IF I CAN since I slept almost half of the day away XD
But whatever! I'll just enjoy whatever happens tomorrow :))
True Love or Obsession?
This is a blind item story so I won't mention any names :D
This is a story from a friend of mine which struck me when I learned about this.
==
I had this experience when I just fell in-love with someone very special to me. We just known each other through the internet.
This person became so special that I can't help but fall. (oh my gosh) With just a simple talk with that person, through simple texts, I always feel happy when I'm with that person EVEN THOUGH we still haven't met in person. Through these simple talks, we became very close and I started sharing things to that person. I treated this person as my best friend although I don't think that he treats me as his best friend too but either way he's still my best friend who knows every single detail of my life.
That time I'm still confused about my feelings towards that person. It's like when I'm with that person, I'm always happy, I always want to talk to that person, and I feel that I can trust that person wholeheartedly.
Several weeks later, that person told me that he's already in a relationship and they're already together right before the time we became close. I have to admit that I kinda felt hurt that time but it didn't matter. I just told myself that as his best friend, I should be happy for him but in reality I'm hurt.
Envious of that relationship, I also entered in a relationship. I told that person about my relationship and it seems that he didn't like it and it kinda made me sad again.
He and his partner started to have problems. There came a time when he calls me up crying. By that time, it's like his day never ends without shedding a tear. Knowing about this, it made me mad on his partner. It's like I want to talk to his partner. Of course who wants to see their best friend hurt right? So I want to defend him from his partner.
As time passed by, he started to drift away from me. No more text messages, no more calls, as in nothing. From that time I started to miss him a lot. I started to become cold to my partner as well and later on I told my partner that I'm in-love with my best friend. I know that THAT confession of mine made my partner hurt and it made me kinda guilty but I can't keep going within a lie. I want to tell my partner about my best friend because it'll hurt him sooner or later, not only him but also me. So why prolong the gap? I thought that it's better to tell my partner about it already.
A day after my confession, somebody called me and guess who it was. It was my best friend's partner! At that time I told that person everything I wanted to say since I thought that it was as opportunity to do so. That person told me everything that happened but I still defended my best friend to the best of my extent even though I know that what he did is wrong. After a quite long argument between me and my best friend's partner, my best friend's partner told me to stay away from my best friend. That person told me that he really doesn't like me, that he was just using me, that he just sees me as a money tree and so on and so forth. But I never believed a single word that person said.
After that talk with that person, still there's no communication between me and my best friend. I tried to contact him sometimes but there's no reply. In addition to that, communication between me and my partner also started to drift away. I've learned that I've fallen deeply in-love with my best friend because I can't get him out of my head. That time I broke up with my partner and my reason for breaking up? I'm in love with my best friend and it's not working out between the two of us. How's that for a reason?
Time passed by and still no connection with him. Since I can't do anything to know how he's doing, I always look at his Friendster profile. It's like every single day I check his profile even though I can't see his full profile because his partner deleted me from his friend lists. I can't add him up again or message him. Nothing. All I can do that time is look at his prictures over and over again, pray for his safety and cry every night.
I really miss him so much.
Years go by and I'm still doing the same old routine again and again. I always wear a mask everytime I go out of my room. People see me as a same old jolly person with no worries in life. Little do they know, I'm carrying something heavy all these years. I never entered into another relationship again because I'm still hoping that my best friend would come back someday.
2 years passed. This is the time when Facebook started to become popular. I checked my Friendster account that time and I was surprised on what I saw. My best friend's partner added me up! Checking that person's profile, a thought popped up on my mind. I said to myself after seeing things on that person's profile "What they broke up?". It's like it's something that is very remote to happen but it really happened! By that time, I got my hopes up. I opened my Facebook account and searched his name and it appeared! I was like, " Oh my gosh!". I was trembling that time. I was very hesitant to add him up. But I stayed strong and added him up. I was very happy when he accepted my friend request. I kept my head held high when I talked to him but it seems like he didn't missed me. I was kinda disappointed but I didn't mind what I felt as long as he's back I'm happy.
Again I lurked on his profile, I learned that he's in another relationship again. But it didn't matter to me. We became close again when he added me up on his yahoo messenger. We talked and talked like there's no tomorrow. Text messages and calls with him returned. Just like the old times!
I'm so happy that he's back!
Several months passed by in a breeze and things started to drift away again. His text messages seldom comes and he doesn't answer my calls anymore. I was getting kind of scared that I might lose him again. Every night I cried just thinking that he'll leave me for the second time.
Then there came a time when he talked to me about something. He told me that he's in love with another besides his current partner. I became frank to him and told him everything that I'm feeling. I told him that I'm hurt, that what he feels towards that person is the same way of what I feel towards him. But I set my pride aside and did my part as his best friend. I tried my best to comfort him but it seems he's not comforted.
Now we seldom talk again but I know that he's always around unlike before. But still, I'm crying at night. I'm feel that he's taken me for granted because I know that he knows that I love him. But I try to set aside my negative thoughts as hard as I can and keep convincing myself that he didn't took me for granted.
Even though he's just around the corner, he still seems so far away from me but I'm still hoping. I'm back to the same old routine I had when he left me before. But I still stand strong and keep my word that as his best friend, I'll always be here for him whenever he needs me.
And now as I stand on my own, once again, I still give my love to him even if I know that he'll never do the same thing for me.
Why do I hold on to someone who has nothing to offer?
Simple..It's because I love him.
Now tell me.
Is this true love or am I just obsessed?
This is a story from a friend of mine which struck me when I learned about this.
==
I had this experience when I just fell in-love with someone very special to me. We just known each other through the internet.
This person became so special that I can't help but fall. (oh my gosh) With just a simple talk with that person, through simple texts, I always feel happy when I'm with that person EVEN THOUGH we still haven't met in person. Through these simple talks, we became very close and I started sharing things to that person. I treated this person as my best friend although I don't think that he treats me as his best friend too but either way he's still my best friend who knows every single detail of my life.
That time I'm still confused about my feelings towards that person. It's like when I'm with that person, I'm always happy, I always want to talk to that person, and I feel that I can trust that person wholeheartedly.
Several weeks later, that person told me that he's already in a relationship and they're already together right before the time we became close. I have to admit that I kinda felt hurt that time but it didn't matter. I just told myself that as his best friend, I should be happy for him but in reality I'm hurt.
Envious of that relationship, I also entered in a relationship. I told that person about my relationship and it seems that he didn't like it and it kinda made me sad again.
He and his partner started to have problems. There came a time when he calls me up crying. By that time, it's like his day never ends without shedding a tear. Knowing about this, it made me mad on his partner. It's like I want to talk to his partner. Of course who wants to see their best friend hurt right? So I want to defend him from his partner.
As time passed by, he started to drift away from me. No more text messages, no more calls, as in nothing. From that time I started to miss him a lot. I started to become cold to my partner as well and later on I told my partner that I'm in-love with my best friend. I know that THAT confession of mine made my partner hurt and it made me kinda guilty but I can't keep going within a lie. I want to tell my partner about my best friend because it'll hurt him sooner or later, not only him but also me. So why prolong the gap? I thought that it's better to tell my partner about it already.
A day after my confession, somebody called me and guess who it was. It was my best friend's partner! At that time I told that person everything I wanted to say since I thought that it was as opportunity to do so. That person told me everything that happened but I still defended my best friend to the best of my extent even though I know that what he did is wrong. After a quite long argument between me and my best friend's partner, my best friend's partner told me to stay away from my best friend. That person told me that he really doesn't like me, that he was just using me, that he just sees me as a money tree and so on and so forth. But I never believed a single word that person said.
After that talk with that person, still there's no communication between me and my best friend. I tried to contact him sometimes but there's no reply. In addition to that, communication between me and my partner also started to drift away. I've learned that I've fallen deeply in-love with my best friend because I can't get him out of my head. That time I broke up with my partner and my reason for breaking up? I'm in love with my best friend and it's not working out between the two of us. How's that for a reason?
Time passed by and still no connection with him. Since I can't do anything to know how he's doing, I always look at his Friendster profile. It's like every single day I check his profile even though I can't see his full profile because his partner deleted me from his friend lists. I can't add him up again or message him. Nothing. All I can do that time is look at his prictures over and over again, pray for his safety and cry every night.
I really miss him so much.
Years go by and I'm still doing the same old routine again and again. I always wear a mask everytime I go out of my room. People see me as a same old jolly person with no worries in life. Little do they know, I'm carrying something heavy all these years. I never entered into another relationship again because I'm still hoping that my best friend would come back someday.
2 years passed. This is the time when Facebook started to become popular. I checked my Friendster account that time and I was surprised on what I saw. My best friend's partner added me up! Checking that person's profile, a thought popped up on my mind. I said to myself after seeing things on that person's profile "What they broke up?". It's like it's something that is very remote to happen but it really happened! By that time, I got my hopes up. I opened my Facebook account and searched his name and it appeared! I was like, " Oh my gosh!". I was trembling that time. I was very hesitant to add him up. But I stayed strong and added him up. I was very happy when he accepted my friend request. I kept my head held high when I talked to him but it seems like he didn't missed me. I was kinda disappointed but I didn't mind what I felt as long as he's back I'm happy.
Again I lurked on his profile, I learned that he's in another relationship again. But it didn't matter to me. We became close again when he added me up on his yahoo messenger. We talked and talked like there's no tomorrow. Text messages and calls with him returned. Just like the old times!
I'm so happy that he's back!
Several months passed by in a breeze and things started to drift away again. His text messages seldom comes and he doesn't answer my calls anymore. I was getting kind of scared that I might lose him again. Every night I cried just thinking that he'll leave me for the second time.
Then there came a time when he talked to me about something. He told me that he's in love with another besides his current partner. I became frank to him and told him everything that I'm feeling. I told him that I'm hurt, that what he feels towards that person is the same way of what I feel towards him. But I set my pride aside and did my part as his best friend. I tried my best to comfort him but it seems he's not comforted.
Now we seldom talk again but I know that he's always around unlike before. But still, I'm crying at night. I'm feel that he's taken me for granted because I know that he knows that I love him. But I try to set aside my negative thoughts as hard as I can and keep convincing myself that he didn't took me for granted.
Even though he's just around the corner, he still seems so far away from me but I'm still hoping. I'm back to the same old routine I had when he left me before. But I still stand strong and keep my word that as his best friend, I'll always be here for him whenever he needs me.
And now as I stand on my own, once again, I still give my love to him even if I know that he'll never do the same thing for me.
Why do I hold on to someone who has nothing to offer?
Simple..It's because I love him.
Now tell me.
Is this true love or am I just obsessed?
Sleepy days...
Today I've just spent an entire morning SLEEPING!!
Why??Its because I've got nothing to do. Actually I wanted to go to a mall and spend some time bonding with a friend or a classmate but nobody's available PLUS I HAVE NO MONEY!! XD
My mom's at the computer from morning until late in the afternoon and me?Extreme boredom got a direct hit on me and I started sleeping for several hours..
But I gotta tell you that it kinda felt good to sleep for a long time...
It gave me some sort of energy (now I wonder what kind of energy that is but who cares LOL XD) and it made me a bit more alive and forgot a little of my problems.
This is probably one of the reasons why sleeping feels so good.
Although people tell me that I shouldn't waste my time sleeping because when I die I'll spend an eternity on sleeping, I still think that people should get some sleep or rest when they need to right? I mean, you can't actually do plenty of amazing stuff without sleeping! Is that right? XD
Somehow I still feel a bit of pain from a certain problem but... NAAAH! It's not really THAT big of a deal if you ask me... Maybe I'm just over reacting (I hope so)
And after several hours of sleeping today, I finally got my hands on the computer and I can now start surfing the internet (yay!). I can also start creating another post here. I got plenty of ideas to start off but I just can't decide on what to post and I don't have any idea yet to start a certain topic!
Well anyway they're still in the form of ideas and not on words yet so its still abstract. I think I'll start to create one of them today :D
Why??Its because I've got nothing to do. Actually I wanted to go to a mall and spend some time bonding with a friend or a classmate but nobody's available PLUS I HAVE NO MONEY!! XD
My mom's at the computer from morning until late in the afternoon and me?Extreme boredom got a direct hit on me and I started sleeping for several hours..
But I gotta tell you that it kinda felt good to sleep for a long time...
It gave me some sort of energy (now I wonder what kind of energy that is but who cares LOL XD) and it made me a bit more alive and forgot a little of my problems.
This is probably one of the reasons why sleeping feels so good.
Although people tell me that I shouldn't waste my time sleeping because when I die I'll spend an eternity on sleeping, I still think that people should get some sleep or rest when they need to right? I mean, you can't actually do plenty of amazing stuff without sleeping! Is that right? XD
Somehow I still feel a bit of pain from a certain problem but... NAAAH! It's not really THAT big of a deal if you ask me... Maybe I'm just over reacting (I hope so)
And after several hours of sleeping today, I finally got my hands on the computer and I can now start surfing the internet (yay!). I can also start creating another post here. I got plenty of ideas to start off but I just can't decide on what to post and I don't have any idea yet to start a certain topic!
Well anyway they're still in the form of ideas and not on words yet so its still abstract. I think I'll start to create one of them today :D
Friday, October 29, 2010
It's a first!
Well what do you know? I've just created a blogger account!!
Actually hindi naman talaga ako mahilig magblog. At hindi ko alam kung bakit nga ba ako gumawa ng blogger account! (haha stupid XD)
Anyway this is my very first blog so I think I'll make it a bit long (if I can LOL)
Creating this blog is just something out of the blue. It's like may nagtulak sa akin na gumawa ako ng sarili kong website at ito ang site na unang pumasok sa isip ko. Why? I dont know LOL!
From now on, I'll be posting some thoughts of mine dito sa site na to. I'll be updating things that I experience everyday whenever I'm available. And maybe I'll be posting some new and odd revelations about myself. That is IF I FEEL LIKE IT >:)
As of now I'll end my post here. Probably by tomorrow I'll add another haha hopefully :))
Until then ^_^
Actually hindi naman talaga ako mahilig magblog. At hindi ko alam kung bakit nga ba ako gumawa ng blogger account! (haha stupid XD)
Anyway this is my very first blog so I think I'll make it a bit long (if I can LOL)
Creating this blog is just something out of the blue. It's like may nagtulak sa akin na gumawa ako ng sarili kong website at ito ang site na unang pumasok sa isip ko. Why? I dont know LOL!
From now on, I'll be posting some thoughts of mine dito sa site na to. I'll be updating things that I experience everyday whenever I'm available. And maybe I'll be posting some new and odd revelations about myself. That is IF I FEEL LIKE IT >:)
As of now I'll end my post here. Probably by tomorrow I'll add another haha hopefully :))
Until then ^_^
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